The Artful Flaws of the Human Personality
I have self-diagnosed myself to be an Escapist. While I'm not a hundred per cent certain, "escapist" is definitely a word that exists.
Just to explain my premise in a few sentences, escapism is a psychological explanation for depression, however, that is not where I am going with this. Escapism is me, talking about everything that I am not going to say, before finally settling down on my point, because it is unpleasant to talk about, and I would rather do everything but this.
In short, escapism is the fragile art of running away from things that you really ought to not run away from. It is where procrastination goes pro, or ProProcrastination™, as I like to call it.
I have been escaping most things in my life, consider this to be a confession of sorts. I have been trying to put off writing this for almost a month now because it's easier to just, not. I find myself taking up new projects and new things to do. Excuses and lies form a delicate web around me that I find myself tangled in. Deadlines start looking like suggestions and everything becomes easy to get away from. I get disconnected from what people expect out of me.
Somewhere along the way, I learned how to convince myself that nothing matters. Positive nihilism, which may sound like an oxymoron, but is actually how I live my life because absolutely nothing matters and what could possibly be better than that!
Do you want to know if your human mind is as flawed as mine is? No? Well, I made a list instead of doing the other 36823 things I need to do, anyway.
When you have a deadline, do you find yourself not getting stressed because you have handled worse situations in the past?
Do you no longer get nervous before a test or an exam because you know that your future does not depend on how you perform on it?
Do you often find yourself saying to yourself, "There are bigger fish to fry," even if you are vegan?
Do you prioritise things for a short period of time and they start losing importance and value to you over time because you know everything is temporary?
Do you constantly consider the worst possible situation and are low-key okay with that happening most of the time?
If you answered positively to most of those questions, congratulations!
Perhaps it is maturity and overall carelessness that has led to me thinking this way, but it is probably something we should work on. If anyone has any support groups or solutions to this problem, please let me know at the earliest, I will probably never get to it, it doesn't really matter anyway, does it?
