NO. MEANS. NO.
Seventeen year old Devika. Twenty three year old Nirbhaya. Jayaraj and Fenix. The ‘Bois Locker Room’ incident— I could go on and on, but I’m sure I’m not telling you something you don’t already know. These incidents have caused quite a stir of outrage all over social media; Petitions have been signed, letters have been addressed, and in some cases, even justice has been served. But while these social media hashtags and petitions do help bring about change during the aftermath of the crime, they don’t address the root of the problem; rape culture. They don’t alter the psychology of rapists.
So, what is rape culture?
Body shaming is rape culture. Making a rape joke is part of rape culture. Fetishising someone is rape culture. Objectification is rape culture. Catcalling, stalking and casual sexism is ALL rape culture. And, most importantly, normalising or dismissing any of the above is also rape culture. Addressing rape culture and attempting to understand the deep rooted psychology of rapists is of paramount importance, because it aids in identifying these tendencies in ourselves, or people we love, at earlier stages before they get out of hand.
In an experiment conducted in the year 1976 by Samuel D. Smithyman, a clinical psychologist, rapists were given the opportunity to call a number completely anonymously just to be interviewed. Surprisingly, Smithyman received an insane number of phone calls, where he discovered groundbreaking yet unexpected insight from perpetrators themselves. Most rapists begin having ‘rape tendencies’ early on, mostly due to some form of childhood trauma. This could include being unpopular at school, never having a girlfriend, being rejected by women over and over and sometimes even being shunned by their own families. All of the aforementioned allude to one thing over and over— the deprivation of male dominance. In an article written by the New York Times, one interviewed perpetrator described rape as ‘repayment for sexual arousal.’ To set things in perspective in a nutshell: rape is NOT an assertion of strength, it is merely a measure of cowardice.
Another common factor observed through most rapists, involves the tendency to believe in ‘rape myths.’ These include dogmatic beliefs in perceptions like:
Women could prevent rape if they really wanted to.
Women wear provocative clothing on purpose.
Women victimise themselves as a ploy to get revenge on men.
Women enjoy rape.
The reality of the situation usually plays out something like this:
Women do not enjoy someone violating their right of consent, and would do anything in their power to stop this violation.
Women wear clothing of their choice, be it short or long, and exercise their right to free will.
The thing is: most rapists admit to having non-consensual sex, whilst still denying having raped anyone. They believe in the ‘no means yes’ psychology. So let me clear it up— when someone says ‘no,’ they aren’t teasing or playing hard to get. They mean no. No means no. And one more thing; this applies no matter how well you know someone. Familiarity has NOTHING to do with consent.
While it is pertinent for us to recognise the gravity of full fledged rape, what we don’t realise is that all this begins with us. What we believe to be ‘harmless’ or ‘innocent’ can prove to equally as detrimental to an individuals psychology, as rape. Just because you’re certain you’d never ‘act on it’ doesn’t mean the damage hasn’t already been done. The only difference is— the damage you cause through a Whatsapp group is psychological, and the damage they cause through rape; physical. So every time you judge someone for the clothes they wear, whistle while they walk past you, send them unsolicited intimate pictures, unwarranted text messages, compare sexual experiences with your friends casually… Remember that you are part of the problem. To eradicate rape culture as a whole, we need to take a good look in the mirror first.
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Educate yourselves, its about time.
