Ines Aftalion
- Jun 25, 2020
- 3 min read

How to get your life together

Feeling pressured, boring, stuck? Let me help.

First of all, let’s define concepts.

The idea of getting your life together is vague and means different things to different people, but it’s usually some form of stability, be it

financially
physically
mentally
socially
spiritually
career-wise

1. Why get your life together?

I’ll use the definition of getting life together as growing up and stop being a kid.

“We fall from childhood and find ourselves in a world where we are not enough. We can never be enough.” With that fall from what we once knew, we find out that life is like a club that our mom signed us up for but that we don’t really want to go to. Life feels painful.

If you can’t relate to this, at all, share this with someone who doesn’t have their life together to help them out. At some point, all of us have had our ground taken off our feet, and it’s comforting to have a plan. At some point, all of our lives have been a mess.

2. How to do it

Identify what you want to change

Probably not everything that we mentioned before is out of balance, but the reason you came to read this is. Maintain your focus on that. Not the negativity of it, rather the concept.

Understand who you currently are and who you want to be in order to achieve balance on that concept

I recommend writing down 4 things people describe you as, 4 things you like about yourself, 4 things you want to change. (You can put more if you want, this is just a guide).

Then, think of your ideal self. That person you think of when you see your future, finally out of the circumstances you feel are imprisoning you at the moment. The main character, no longer overlooked.

What can you do to become that person?

Work on self-image and deal with your problems - face the truth

Pain demands to be felt. It will not disappear if you ignore it. it; it will only resurface.

If you postpone the inevitable, leaving you with a fragile sense of carefreeness instead of liberation, it will eventually become another load that you will have to deal with later. So please, deal with your problems.

Focus on yourself

If there’s one thing you take from this blog, it’s this: you are your first priority. Always. I’m not saying ignore others and be selfish - I’m telling you you shouldn’t make constant sacrifices for others and putting their mental health over yours. Don’t be a pushover.

Resolve toxicity.

This can be cutting off toxic people or talking about things you really don’t want to talk about. It is more complicated than it sounds like obviously, especially considering the history you may have with certain people.

Let go of past failures and get ambitious.

When we think of the past, we give it the power to hold us back. The past does not define you; your present actions do. I find meditation to be liberating. I’ll do a blog on this with more on the specifics of meditation.

3. Troubles you might face and how to solve them

Maybe you find it hard to believe in yourself

After all, there’s always someone better, right? Wrong. Compare yourself to who you were before, not others. Someone’s chapter 3 is not the same as your chapter 12.

Maybe you’re not a Gryffindor and fear is taking over

As a Gryffindor, some of the things that help me stop overthinking and start acting are good music and supportive friends that hype you up. How much more life are you going to take until you finally do something about it?

Maybe you can’t see the changes

Like everything, getting your life together is a process. Changes this profound don’t take place overnight. A tip to motivate you is to think about an achievement or a problem you’ve overcome, however small, and compare to how the before you wouldn’t have done that.

People around you don’t accept your change or treat you the same as before

That’s tough, not gonna lie. It’s demotivating.

If you can let them know of the changes you are trying to make, they will most likely treat you differently, but if all fails I suggest finding people who don’t bring up the past you.

4. Conclusion

As soon as you finish reading this blog, it’s crucial for you to turn the impulse into action. Do a small thing to scratch the itch for change instead of procrastinating it.

I sincerely hope this has helped you break old habits and prompted you to get your life together. Be determined to bring the best out of you.