“But I don't mean it offensively…”
A blog about fitness, health and nutrition, so it only makes sense for me to start with the most important part. Body image. Just know that when I write these things to you, I’m basically reminding myself.
Are you someone who longs to be called ‘thin’, ‘skinny legend’, ‘ripped’ or ‘snatched’ because that was me as well and its all fun and games till it turns into ‘anorexic’, ‘bony’, ‘skeleton’, ‘flat’, ‘malnourished’ and ‘frail’. Everyone wants to be thin you say? You think these are compliments? Here’s the thing... Being told to eat more, being told that you have no flesh, being told that nobody likes a bony girl or a skinny guy, being called ‘a board’ or ‘a toothpick’, having your bones be pointed out in public, being told that you’d look more attractive if you gained a few pounds or even being told that people are ‘concerned’ about you are not pleasant things to hear, even if you, “Don't mean it offensively.” Skinny shaming and flat shaming are as disgusting and demoralizing as fat shaming and for some reason most of don't even acknowledge it.
Fat shaming. A topic that gets more of the attention…but that doesn't make it any easier does it? Getting called out for being chubby, round or healthier than others starts from the time that you’re picked last in team sports because you’re too big to run fast... Constantly being surrounded by your relatively thinner friends and wearing baggy clothes so that you don't draw any attention to yourself, hating pool parties because you’re daunted by the thought of putting on a swimsuit, sucking in your stomach, slouching when you sit, drooping your shoulders when you walk, constantly tugging at your t-shirt so that it doesn't stick to you and hiding your body behind a person or an object in pictures. These are all things that I’ve done and as much as I hope that none of you will be able to relate, I know I’m not the only one. Being asked if you actually think you should eat that, having your cheeks or stomach rolls pinched, being told to start playing a sport, being suggested new diets without asking for it and being constantly told about what clothes are correct your body type... It’s about time someone said it, these are straight up hurtful comments even if you, “Don't mean it offensively.”
The easy way out here would be to tell you that what people say doesn't matter and that you should disregard these comments instead of taking it to heart. Our parents tell us to be confident and block out all the negative comments. People have been chanting these mantras since forever but they haven’t actually helped, have they? It’s because no matter how strong you are there is a point where all of this gets to you. Even if you don't react or retaliate to these assumed to be, ‘harmless comments’ they are what keeps us up at night and stops us from eating the double chocolate brownies that we love. So instead of asking you to be indifferent to such comments, I’m going to ask you to change the way you speak. When you see someone after long, don't comment on their physical appearance. If you think of a ‘funny joke’ to crack about your friends appearance, don't do it. Educate yourself about words such as ‘anorexic’ and ‘obese’, if someone has frizzy hair, has acne or dark circles don't point it out. If someone’s trying to eat healthy, don't tell them, “You’ll fly away if you go on a diet.” If someone is enjoying their favorite food and eating with absolutely no care in the world, do not tell them that they shouldn't be eating that. Do not tell a girl that muscles will make her look like a man and do not tell a boy that he should start bulking up. Do not use negligent terms like fatty, fatso, pig, flat chested, chopstick, weak, chubby, potato or cardboard. Do not tell a girl she would look prettier if she was thinner or tell a boy that nobody likes a belly. Do not tell a girl that her curves make clothes look provocative. Do not mock or laugh at people who are trying to work on themselves and most definitely do not Voice these opinions because you’re, ‘concerned.’ Now that I think about it, its pretty simple… If you ever want to give someone your opinion on their physique, JUST DON'T DO IT. It is not your place to do so, it is not necessary to do so and neither is it the least bit respectful to do so.
Don't get me wrong, I’m not telling you to stop complimenting people. All I’m telling you to do is tell people they look happy, strong, fit, healthy and radiant instead of skinny, lean, snatched, curvy or thick. You might think that I’m over dramatizing this topic but trust me working on your mindset is the first step towards being healthy.
So laugh till your nose scrunches up, gums appear and stomach rolls pop, at the people who says that they're 'concerned' about your body. All of us are goddamn perfect and beyond, it's time we stop letting people who have known us for seconds teach us how to treat the body we've lived in for our entire life.
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